Apologies for the half-dead blog. Don't feel like putting my thoughts into words. Call it running away if you want.

Met up with Mav, Rhoda, Xiaohui and Jiahao on Sunday. The service crew at JEC's Pizza Hut ought to be shot, like seriously. One kept gaving us wrong orders (beef meatballs instead of chicken meatballs, lemon tea instead of peach tea), one kept running to another person for help when we wanted to give our orders and one was so pissed with the 2 that she was slamming everything in protest. And the food stood for more than 10mins before they bothered to serve us.

Bad service aside, I was glad that I met up with my darling seniors. Yeah I agree that the meet up was too short, but never mind I'm looking forward to Tuesday! (:

Thursday was spent with my OG. Lunch, karaoke, NYDC, arcade and coffee! People came and left, but some of us stayed throughout the 12hours lol. We met at 11am and parted ways at 11pm lah omg. It was happy birthday to Yunmin and Stella but too bad Stella wasn't with us. Ktv was super high, with too many guys to sing duets with for the first time in my life haha. Wahlao the female part totally got overpowered. Chatted more when more people left, about life, love and army. Arcade was therapeutic, totally. Shot hoops, played bishi bashi,table soccer and some other game which we had to aim and throw plastic balls at mice, animals, flashers, criminals, etc etc. I want to go to the arcade again!

One unhappy episode made my already-gloomy mood hit rock bottom. Looking back, the incident itself might not be a very big deal, but I guess it was because the person involved was someone very dear to me that's why I was so affected. I can't remember the rage, but I can't shake off the hurt. It's okay if you find me petty, unforgiving and seriously overreacting, but why do I feel so insignificant? I don't know what to question, because I don't know if answers are what I need. Putting my feelings on a hiatus may hopefully allow me to think more logically.

Don't talk to me / ask me about this. There are things that I don't want to share too.

Okay people stop complaining that you can't see the cursor on my blog. I edited the template already (:

And yes, I'm back from camp! Not very tired and not tanned at all HAHA. Had a great deal of fun (I choose to remember only the fun moments, like you would) and made some friends (:

I can't decide what to blog about due to the inability to organise my thoughts at the moment. Next time.

Hello!

I have this tendency to neglect my blog when I doodle on my organiser too much. I'll only blog when my thoughts can't be summarised in just a few lines. And because I don't like to say much when I'm emo, I only emo to my organiser HAHA.

Anyway, I shall start summarising what I did last week starting from Monday.

MONDAY: Met Yueh Hsin and Ck at Singapore Flyer! Decided to go to a different place for Popeye's Chicken despite cancelled plans to pick Hua Cheng up from the airport. I prefer Changi Airport's Popeye's! But anyway we went for Andersen's Ice Cream after that. Kinda made up for the less-than-ideal lunch at Popeye's.

Went to meet my sister at AMK Hub after that to catch the Incredible Hulk. Had dinner at Ichiban! Yummy paper steamboat. (The jap name seriously sounds vulgar. Salmon Kaminabe lol.) Smuggled coffee into the theatre. Oh and anyway the movie was crappy ._.

TUESDAY: Had lunch with Jiaying! Oh man we haven't met up for ages! Ate my favourite Omurice at Taka and chatted for very long after that. I'm damn proud of her for being so strong and so optimistic. It doesn't matter which path you take because I have faith in you that you'll be just fine with your never-say-die attitude. ((:

WEDNESDAY: Tuition marathon. >< Went for a swing at the playground opposite AMK library. Haha I guess swings are slowly being phased out with the development of more modern playgrounds. All the rubber-like spongey flooring is totally unsuitable for swings which need to be built on sandy ground. I guess there's a need for everything to change someday and there's nothing we can do but to move on.

THURSDAY: Tuition again. ):

FRIDAY: Rotted at home YAY. Studied a teeny weeny bit of jap. (Aiya clap for me lah it's so rare that I'll mug jap out of free will leh!)

SATURDAY: Met Chuwen and Linus at Swensen's for dinner! The cookie sundae was super yummy! Especially when you're puking from eating too much maincourse haha. And the fries was still rocking, with the BBQ and tartar sauce!

SUNDAY: Was craving for sushi for the past few days so accidentally bought too much for lunch. There was a bit of drama before tuition started, and I was late in meeting the choir peeps. Went to Starbucks as usual. Talked till 11plus. Supposed to go home but halfway through Ck and me decided to go to ICE³ for ice cream. Xiang you should've joined us! The caramel brownie was duper duper duper yummy! Thanks Ck for the treat! Anyway it was total caramel overload. Caramel Macchiato and Caramel Brownie (caramel ice cream with brownie and topped with caramel syrup)! But heck, caramel smells and tastes nice even though I don't like sweet stuff.

I'll update about this week next week!

&&& YAY Yueh Hsin's back from Japan! (:

On a more depressing note, my sister's colleague just passed away in a car accident. She was telling me how nice he was, how he was just teasing her last week and he's gone now. In his early thirties and single, he worked very hard just because he wanted to give his family a better life. "Good people die early" can't be more appropriate to describe this.

Such happenings never fail to remind me of the fragility of life. We tend to live a fast paced life, trying to meet neverending expectations that we demand of ourselves. It's always better to study harder, get better results, find a better paid job, give your loved ones a more comfortable life, and the list goes on indefinitely. We can't really slow down in this society, can we? Not without being overtaken and thrown behind I guess.

Sometimes I tell myself, life's too short for me to evaluate every step I take and to think before I leap. Yet another part of me rebuts, saying that because life is short, I can't afford to make too many mistakes.

What an irony, to believe that we're in control of our own lives but still be powerless over how much we are able to do.

May you rest in peace.

Do you believe in the above?

Like me, some people have this tendency for self-justification in everything that we do. Whether it is to protect oneself, for acceptance or simply because you hate to 'lose'.

That's why I wonder, why do some people do otherwise (ie. not bothering to explain themselves)? Perhaps, like what is said in the picture, the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who dislikes you won't believe it.

But but but, sometimes I have this urge to defend someone who doesn't bother to explain him/herself. Especially if this person is my friend. I don't understand why people don't try to correct others' perception of them, even so if it's a warped one. You may think that action speaks louder than words, but those people who fail to interpret your words and intentions in the right way often do not take an additional step to know you better. Then how do you make them understand you based on the things you did? It's easy to say that you don't care what others think of you because they don't know you well enough, because they aren't your friends. But as your friend, I hate feeling helpless in standing up for you because I know you've been misunderstood.

What adds on to this helplessness is that I know you'll say you don't need people to defend you.

I came home for dinner but my mum never cook! $#%&%!#$@#!@

Xian Yong tagged me saying that he bets that I won't do it. Now I do for him to see HAHAHA. 激将法 works on me sometimes. Actually I just like to go against people : P

People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs. Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. il bet thats how they get these stuff gg. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people!

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
WAHLAO BASTARD but I will cry like shit.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
I don't have many dreams so I think I want to become an oncologist.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
(Okay I'm thinking about it now...)
Maybe a simple but pretty one with all my close friends(throughout my life) around.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Not really anymore, perhaps it's more of being unsure about what to expect.

5. What is your ideal lover like?
I'm not the idealistic kind but someone filial, charismatic, confident, driven, smart, good looking(with a very nice smile), funny, with a strong personality will be nice (: I know it's damn a lot of qualities but YOU SAID IDEAL.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Having someone who loves me is great, but only if I can reciprocate with the almost the same amount of love.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
It depends on how long I can continue to love him. I will stop waiting because I stopped loving, it's hard to stop waiting if I still love him.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Move on.

9. Is being tagged fun?
Don't know? I hardly respond to such tags.

10. How do you see yourself in ten years' time?
Happy, stable relationships with the ones I love, with a stable job, loving every bit of my life and still looking forward.

11. Who are currently the most important people to you?
My family, and close friends.

12. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
We think quite differently. Sometimes we can't talk without arguing from 2 ends of a bridge, but I still love talking to him because of the alternative perspectives he provides me with.

13. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Single and rich.

14. What's the first thing you do every morning?
Check my phone after snoozing the phone alarm.

15. Would you give it all in a relationship?
As much as I can without losing myself.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
None. I don't think I can even be sure that I LOVE either.

17. What type of friends do you like?
Those whom I can click with, talk to and who is there for me when I need someone (and vice versa).

18. What type of friends do you dislike?
Insensitive, self-centered, those who put friends down to make themselves feel better, who don't try to defend their friends, who backstab. Okay wait, they aren't fit to be classified under the 'Friends' in the first place.

Tagged: Yueh Hsin, Yong Jian, Xiang and Ann (You guys can email me instead haha).

Hello! Currently blogging from Yueh Hsin's house! And I've decided to blog about Social Night after all.

Yah I've been dreading yesterday night. Like hell. I started off with the I-can't-be-bothered attitude because it was still like a few weeks to the actual date. Then when I met Jiahao last Saturday I was like, "Oh you mean Social Night's this coming Thursday?!"

Not like the 4 consecutive shocks I had helped much.

So as the date drew nearer the can't-be-bothered attitude turned into dread at an alarming rate HAHA.

The fact is, I hate such events. I hate dressing up. Period.

But yah lah, I appreciate Jiahao for inviting me. Yes it's not as if he doesn't know that I hate such events after knowing me for 6.5years. But I know he just wants me to have the experience lah. And wahlao I don't want my friend to do 10 extras because I pangseh him.

Haha I shall sing some praises of my good friend to make him feel appreciated!

This guy is damn sweet I tell you. Knowing that I have been pretty moody for the past week, he actually ordered a bouquet of flowers to be sent to my house in the morning. I know he's irritated cuz I kept telling him that flowers are a waste of money and that I'd rather him have MacDonald's delivered to my house instead HAHA. But hey, I really appreciated the gesture lah (:


I know the entire night was kinda screwed up because of the late book out and messy plans, but I was glad I was there with my very good friend so at least I didn't have to feel awkward while trying desperately to look normal there. Yueh Hsin being there with me was an extra big bonus because we get to run off to the toilet together whenever we're bored / when the guys are taking photos. Thanks twin! (And sorry to Justin for stealing his date the entire night LOL) And because the food sucked big time, we went to MacDonald's for my 20piece nuggets after that : D

Oh yah to add something on, Jiahao's platoon video was imba-ly funny. I liked it!

Met up with Yueh Hsin and Justin after our supper and I went to Yueh Hsin's house for stayover! Haha damn high. We actually slept at 6am. Really couldn't take it anymore damn tired omg. But it was ultra nice to be talking and fooling around the entire night. Yes imagine the chaos when the 2 of us get together.

Haha FYI I'm still at her house. Rotted while she had her piano lesson just now. And we're going for steamboat with her mum after I finish typing this entry! Thank you twin and your mum for being such wonderful hosts! : D

Song of the day! 林宥嘉, 劉力揚 - 傳説

Having had nothing better to do, I attempted to publish a blog entry while rotting at AMK's MacDonald's just now. Felt the sudden urge to blog because I seriously wanted to bang my head. But apparently it(the attempt at blogging) was a failed attempt. Haha if not you think I'll blog again now meh.

But it's okay I think I'm just going to copy and paste what I intended to blog about. : D

Anyway, I should just conclude that I'm down on my luck recently. The world can't get any smaller lah. And now I feel like digging a hole in the ground to hide my face in. Or maybe I can try hiding under the table on Thursday. Disfiguring myself would be too high a price to pay LOL.

I bet you're thinking what I'm being so secretive about but this feels 1247732153 times worse than having your secret exposed zomg.

I'm currently in a new state of shock even though I still haven't completely recovered from yesterday night's shock. Haha I should stop going in circles if not you'll feel like slapping me. But I just had nothing to do rotting at AMK's MacDonalds just now LOL.

Tuition again tomorrow! I wonder why my days pass so quickly suddenly.

Just to add something more to the as-good-as-meaningless post, I talked to my mum today! Was in a rush to go out for tuition so didn't get to tell her much. Loved the advices that she gave me. And if there was someone who knew me better than anyone else(with the exception of myself), it had to be her. The volatility of friendships always seems to be beyond my control sigh. I admit I can't handle certain issues well and when that happens I will choose to ignore it and stay home and start doing things to numb my own feelings. I know you'll ask me to grow up, but maybe you could suggest a better solution? Talking to people doesn't necessary make you feel better all the time because the more people you talk to, the more opinions you get, and the easier these opinions conflict.

It sounds darn irresponsible, but I rather do what makes myself happier at the end of the day.